If you want to know something about a woman, often times, just asking directly either isn't effective (i.e., won't get you a true answer) or will lead you down the road to an "interview style" set, which women find extremely boring. We've all been there: where are you from... what do you do for work... what do you do for fun... every guy who's ever approached her has asked these questions, and since most of them haven't removed her panties, you don't want to be anything like them. :)
Instead, implement cold reading, and *tell her* something about her. If you're right, she'll be impressed that you were intuitive. If you're wrong, she'll laugh and ask why you thought that about her. Either way it's a good thing, and the more you practice, the more accurate you'll get. Consider:
AFC: Where are you from?
HB8Bored: California
AFC: Cool... I'm from New York.
HB8Bored: Cool.
...vs...
PM_PUA: You look like a California girl!
HB8Entertained: Cali? OMG that's where I'm from!
PM_PUA: Really? You are definitely a Southern Cali girl... I can tell.
HB8Entertained: Nooooo I'm from San Francisco! I'm not that pretentious, am I?
PM_PUA: Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but... ;) [continue]
The second version has much more energy, entertainment, and playfulness than the first. It also makes you stand out. Even if you didn't guess right the first time -- even if you guess wrong at everything all night -- you're still fun, and most definitely stand out from the rest.
Here's an even better example:
PM_PUA: You are soooo needy! Your boyfriend must go crazy trying to keep up with you!
HB8Single: lol my last boyfriend did... he was my little puppy, though... he did whatever I said.
In this scenario, I wanted to know if the girl has a boyfriend or not. If I ask her flat out if she has a boyfriend, I will lower my value (a man of high value doesn't care whether or not she has a boyfriend), I will project interest in her (which I might not yet want to do), and since I'm now low value, she might just say "yes" to get rid of me even if it's not true!
Before you get deep into comfort, try and limit your questions to the following:
1) Your opener (asking her her opinion, etc.)
2) Asking her about feelings, or any other questions designed to make her feel emotions
3) Questions that don't involve her at all (e.g., "What is that couple doing over there?" [people watching games])
Otherwise, ask your question within a cold read. It's hard and there's certainly other exceptions, but if you apply the rule most of the time, you'll reap the benefits.
Posted by: Affection
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Important To Remember, Especially While Peacocking
Most guys that you'll see are neglecting one of the easiest ways to make themselves approachable. When you walk up to a woman (or she comes up to you), obviously you want her to feel comfortable talking to you, and to presuppose that you're a fun guy.
You can do this in less than a second -- with good eye contact and a good smile.
PUAs often describe approaches as either "warm" or "cold." A "warm approach" means that you have some kind of an introduction or prior contact with the woman. A "cold approach" means that you are approaching a woman with whom you have no prior contact, relationship, or introduction. Obviously, a warm approach gives you an advantage, and she won't simply dismiss you as may happen on an unfortunate cold approach.
You can "warm" an approach without any prerequisites -- or even any words -- by catching a girl's eye and smiling at her. Here's how it's done:
Your starting point is to catch her looking at you. If you're "peacocking" (dressed outrageosly to catch womens' attention), this will happen easily (and you'd better take advantage of it, or she may think your style makes you unapproachable!). If not, it will happen soon enough by chance if you're in the same area as her. Ideally, you don't want her to catch you looking at her, as this conveys interest too early (and if done too much, you're the creepy guy that's staring at her!), so look at a point next to her where you can catch her eyes in your peripheral vision and then shift your eyes onto hers once she looks at you.
I know, it seems complicated, but I can usually get it done within 30 seconds.
From here, it's simple: smile, and don't break eye contact until she does or until at least 5 seconds have passed (count them in your head). It's better to have a staring contest than to look away too soon. If you need "something to do" while maintaining eye contact, smile bigger and bigger, or if you want to be playful, stick your tounge out at her (yes -- I'm serious). What this does is it establishes that you're not afraid to have her know you're looking at her (as opposed to the guy with poor game that stares described above, which girls encounter all the time), and that you're happy and fun. If you can make your smile get bigger as you "happen to notice" that she's looking at you, you're doing it well.
Here's a female perspective on it:
"I like smiles. I remember this one guy: I was hanging over the railing at a club with my girls, and he looked up and gave me the biggest smile. Not shy or anything, a really heartfelt, warm smile, and I was like, 'Wow.' Then he came up [...] to talk to me, and that was a good way to go about it, you know? 'Cause I hate when guys try to act tough or like they weren't looking at you."
The woman quoted above and girl this "one guy" picked up? Christina Aguilera.
Smile. Be "the fun guy."
Posted by: Affection
You can do this in less than a second -- with good eye contact and a good smile.
PUAs often describe approaches as either "warm" or "cold." A "warm approach" means that you have some kind of an introduction or prior contact with the woman. A "cold approach" means that you are approaching a woman with whom you have no prior contact, relationship, or introduction. Obviously, a warm approach gives you an advantage, and she won't simply dismiss you as may happen on an unfortunate cold approach.
You can "warm" an approach without any prerequisites -- or even any words -- by catching a girl's eye and smiling at her. Here's how it's done:
Your starting point is to catch her looking at you. If you're "peacocking" (dressed outrageosly to catch womens' attention), this will happen easily (and you'd better take advantage of it, or she may think your style makes you unapproachable!). If not, it will happen soon enough by chance if you're in the same area as her. Ideally, you don't want her to catch you looking at her, as this conveys interest too early (and if done too much, you're the creepy guy that's staring at her!), so look at a point next to her where you can catch her eyes in your peripheral vision and then shift your eyes onto hers once she looks at you.
I know, it seems complicated, but I can usually get it done within 30 seconds.
From here, it's simple: smile, and don't break eye contact until she does or until at least 5 seconds have passed (count them in your head). It's better to have a staring contest than to look away too soon. If you need "something to do" while maintaining eye contact, smile bigger and bigger, or if you want to be playful, stick your tounge out at her (yes -- I'm serious). What this does is it establishes that you're not afraid to have her know you're looking at her (as opposed to the guy with poor game that stares described above, which girls encounter all the time), and that you're happy and fun. If you can make your smile get bigger as you "happen to notice" that she's looking at you, you're doing it well.
Here's a female perspective on it:
"I like smiles. I remember this one guy: I was hanging over the railing at a club with my girls, and he looked up and gave me the biggest smile. Not shy or anything, a really heartfelt, warm smile, and I was like, 'Wow.' Then he came up [...] to talk to me, and that was a good way to go about it, you know? 'Cause I hate when guys try to act tough or like they weren't looking at you."
The woman quoted above and girl this "one guy" picked up? Christina Aguilera.
Smile. Be "the fun guy."
Posted by: Affection
Monday, March 2, 2009
Your Frame of Mind
One of the most tried and true ways of not getting laid is to go out with the expectation and the end goal of getting laid. Women can tell that you're in "predator" mode and are simply hunting down your next prey, and will avoid you soon after you open your mouth (or maybe even before, if they saw you working on other girls!).
Shouldn't there be a way that a skilled pickup artist can go out with the intention of getting laid and then get what he wants?
Well, sorta, but not really. Think of it like this: Let's say you're really depressed and decide to go out (without first adjusting your mood) and pretend to be happy when you talk to people. Your physiology, no matter how hard you try, will tell a different story. There's simply too much to attempt to control in both your body language and speech patterns that doing it consciously is next to impossible. You can try and hide being in a bad mood, but it's not an effective game and you'll find yourself getting "caught" often.
Going out with intent to get laid is similar. You're less likely to look cool, relaxed, and fun, and less likely to sound that way as well. You'll also be less able to have a "real" conversation and show genuine appreciation for the girl you've found -- a requirement of almost any pickup method out there -- because you're too focused on the next move towards the bed. If a girl doesn't feel that you like her for the right reasons, she will assume you like her because you want to do her, which in almost any girl is an instant turn-off.
You've probably seen all of this in action yourself. Ever gone out to a bar with your guy friends when you have a serious girlfriend that you're committed not to cheat on, and notice that all the girls seem to want you like never before (even before you tell them you have a girlfriend)? The reason is that you're acting differently. You're more relaxed, because you have no hunting to do and no outcome you're desperately trying to both hide and achieve, and lack of being relaxed is just as hard to hide in your physiology as being depressed is.
To better answer the question we posed at the beginning, a skilled pickup artist -- and any guy of high value -- *doesn't* go out looking to get laid... because he doesn't need to. "It just happens." Instead of going out with the intent of getting laid, go out with the intent of having fun, learning, meeting people, and being social. If you need a goal, make it "to see how much fun you and the people around you can have." Go into each set with the goal of adding fun to their nights. Mix in your pickup skills while maintaining one of these "higher mindsets" and you will see instantly improved results.
Posted by: Affection
Shouldn't there be a way that a skilled pickup artist can go out with the intention of getting laid and then get what he wants?
Well, sorta, but not really. Think of it like this: Let's say you're really depressed and decide to go out (without first adjusting your mood) and pretend to be happy when you talk to people. Your physiology, no matter how hard you try, will tell a different story. There's simply too much to attempt to control in both your body language and speech patterns that doing it consciously is next to impossible. You can try and hide being in a bad mood, but it's not an effective game and you'll find yourself getting "caught" often.
Going out with intent to get laid is similar. You're less likely to look cool, relaxed, and fun, and less likely to sound that way as well. You'll also be less able to have a "real" conversation and show genuine appreciation for the girl you've found -- a requirement of almost any pickup method out there -- because you're too focused on the next move towards the bed. If a girl doesn't feel that you like her for the right reasons, she will assume you like her because you want to do her, which in almost any girl is an instant turn-off.
You've probably seen all of this in action yourself. Ever gone out to a bar with your guy friends when you have a serious girlfriend that you're committed not to cheat on, and notice that all the girls seem to want you like never before (even before you tell them you have a girlfriend)? The reason is that you're acting differently. You're more relaxed, because you have no hunting to do and no outcome you're desperately trying to both hide and achieve, and lack of being relaxed is just as hard to hide in your physiology as being depressed is.
To better answer the question we posed at the beginning, a skilled pickup artist -- and any guy of high value -- *doesn't* go out looking to get laid... because he doesn't need to. "It just happens." Instead of going out with the intent of getting laid, go out with the intent of having fun, learning, meeting people, and being social. If you need a goal, make it "to see how much fun you and the people around you can have." Go into each set with the goal of adding fun to their nights. Mix in your pickup skills while maintaining one of these "higher mindsets" and you will see instantly improved results.
Posted by: Affection
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