Being Non-Reactive

In order to become good at attracting women, gaining insight through experience is required. In other words, we try things out and look to see if they work. If they do, we put them in our toolbox, and if not, we figure out how to make them better.

...but you want to appear to be doing exactly the opposite.

There are several reasons for this:

1) Seeking a reaction conveys interest. For at least the beginning of your interaction with a woman, you want to control the amount of interest you convey. Why? Because being the cool, attractive guy that you are, you're selective and looking for a women who demonstrates her value with more than her looks, so until she has a chance to prove herself to you, you want to avoid being like every other guy that drools over her because she's hot.

2) Reaction seeking conveys lack of confidence. Being the cool, attractive guy means you're comfortable that you're a good time, and don't need anyone else's validation to prove it to yourself.

3) It gives her power. If she knows that you're out to seek her reactions, she can use that against you. Girls love doing this, especially when they're out at clubs... it's a game to them!
Here are some examples of particularly common times guys seek reactions when they shouldn't:

- Kino
When you start your interaction, you want any kino you do to feel as natural and ordinary as possible, as if you do it to everyone you meet (and you should do it to everyone you meet!). You're not touching her for her, you're touching her because you're comfortable in your interpersonal interactions.

- Negs
The point of a neg is essentially to remind her that she's not as perfect as she sometimes thinks she is WITHOUT her knowing that that's what your up to. Negs should be as subtle as possible, and naturally, seeking a reaction is quite counter to that. After delivering a neg, immediately move on with the conversation like nothing just happened.

- Storytelling
Stories are around 30 to 300 seconds of you trying to have the girl feel the emotions of the story you tell, so naturally you want her to be excited and intrigued at the end. But if she thinks you're telling her a story to impress her, you've wasted your time.

If you find yourself waiting for a reaction from her, how do you avoid it? The best way is to keep talking... move into a new routine or story. Do this especially with kino: don't pause and give her a chance to think about why your hand is on her. If you've run out of material, get distracted by something else in the environment.

Posted by: Affection