Your Frame of Mind

One of the most tried and true ways of not getting laid is to go out with the expectation and the end goal of getting laid. Women can tell that you're in "predator" mode and are simply hunting down your next prey, and will avoid you soon after you open your mouth (or maybe even before, if they saw you working on other girls!).

Shouldn't there be a way that a skilled pickup artist can go out with the intention of getting laid and then get what he wants?

Well, sorta, but not really. Think of it like this: Let's say you're really depressed and decide to go out (without first adjusting your mood) and pretend to be happy when you talk to people. Your physiology, no matter how hard you try, will tell a different story. There's simply too much to attempt to control in both your body language and speech patterns that doing it consciously is next to impossible. You can try and hide being in a bad mood, but it's not an effective game and you'll find yourself getting "caught" often.

Going out with intent to get laid is similar. You're less likely to look cool, relaxed, and fun, and less likely to sound that way as well. You'll also be less able to have a "real" conversation and show genuine appreciation for the girl you've found -- a requirement of almost any pickup method out there -- because you're too focused on the next move towards the bed. If a girl doesn't feel that you like her for the right reasons, she will assume you like her because you want to do her, which in almost any girl is an instant turn-off.

You've probably seen all of this in action yourself. Ever gone out to a bar with your guy friends when you have a serious girlfriend that you're committed not to cheat on, and notice that all the girls seem to want you like never before (even before you tell them you have a girlfriend)? The reason is that you're acting differently. You're more relaxed, because you have no hunting to do and no outcome you're desperately trying to both hide and achieve, and lack of being relaxed is just as hard to hide in your physiology as being depressed is.

To better answer the question we posed at the beginning, a skilled pickup artist -- and any guy of high value -- *doesn't* go out looking to get laid... because he doesn't need to. "It just happens." Instead of going out with the intent of getting laid, go out with the intent of having fun, learning, meeting people, and being social. If you need a goal, make it "to see how much fun you and the people around you can have." Go into each set with the goal of adding fun to their nights. Mix in your pickup skills while maintaining one of these "higher mindsets" and you will see instantly improved results.

Posted by: Affection

Why you shouldn't neg in the first 30 seconds...

Determining when and how to neg effectively requires much more practice and experience than most things in the game. Too hard or at the wrong time, and the girl gets insulted and you're blown out. Not doing it at all leaves a useful tool unused.

I'm going to suggest that you don't put negs at the top of your toolbox, and here's why: negs work against the positive energy of the interaction. The purpose of a neg is to take a girl that is acting like she is too good to talk to you and to subtly remind her that she's not a princess. If you open with a neg, you're essentially presupposing that the girl is going to be bitchy right from the start, which is going to put you in a less positive state and potentially ruin your confidence, posture, voice tone, and conversational flow. Instead, walk into every set assuming that the girl is going to be estatic that you approached, and go in with the intention of adding value to her day.

If you run your opener and she's still in "princess mode," give it at least one more try to convert it to a fun, playful interaction without using a neg. A lot of times, princess mode is simply a brief test of your nerves that she'll drop once she sees you weren't scared off, and simply continuing the conversation is enough to fix things. Save the negs for just a little bit later in the interaction, when you've built rapport but she happens to lapse back into princess mode.

Posted by: Affection