If you've been reading our newsletters for a while, you may have been surprised by some of the things we've said, but this one might be the biggest shock yet. If you feel like you're stuck with few -- or less attractive -- women, the single biggest thing that's holding you back is this:
You don't really want to attract beautiful, intelligent women.
Impossible? When you see an attractive woman in a bar, you know you want her. Consciously, you might think that you want her (not necessarily "her" specifically, but a "her" that meets your criteria) quite a bit... maybe even more than anything in the world. Think about it: what wouldn't you give up for even just one night with that woman? Doesn't that mean you want it?
Try looking at it this way: You saw that perfect girl in a bar... did you open her? Maybe it wasn't a bar... maybe she just walked by you on the street, or served you coffee. It probably happens every day, perhaps multiple times. Did you open them all? My guess is that most of us, most of the time, let plenty of beautiful women walk by us every day.
Let's look at it from another angle: I see a lot of guys that go to bars looking to find women, then complain that none of the women meet their standards and therefore open none of them. Then, when that undeniably attractive girl does finally come around, they simply have too much approach anxiety -- or not enough skill set -- to approach, because they haven't practiced.
Have you ever used one of these excuses?
* There will be other girls, I don't need to open this one
* I'm too tired, or "just don't want to"
* I need to get a drink first
* She's not hot enough for me
* She's so hot she'd never pay attention to me
* She's with her friends/at work/on the phone/busy
* I don't know what to say
I know a lot of guys (both in and out of the community) that can pick from that list all night long, every night.
Here's what I'm getting at: if you haven't been approaching as someone that's COMMITTED to mastering the attraction of women would, it's because at that specific moment when you make a decision to approach or not to approach, the potential "pain" of approaching is more real to you in your mind than the potential pleasure that you will get from both mastering pickup and, potentially, from the girl that you approach. It's also more real to you than the potential pain of NOT approaching -- all that you'll lose in your life if you don't learn to attract the women of your dreams. After all, in our minds, we can always just approach the next girl if we lose this one, right?
...but we all know what happens when we tell ourselves that we can get the next one. So, here's my challenge to you: make a commitment to learning pickup *now*. Sure, you could put it off until next year, and that's exactly one less year of your life that you have amazing women in your life (assuming you actually do take action next year!). If you're with me and ready to really move forward, right now, the next time you're out and see that woman, even if it's on the streets, in the subway, or behind the counter in the coffee shop, start a conversation. Even if she gives you a funny look and walks right by you, you'll know that you've taken action, and you're a step closer to mastery of attraction.
If you want a coach to help push you forward and show you techniques that attract women, give us a call at (877) NYC-PUA1 or e-mail sales@projectmanhattan.com .
Posted by: Affection
